Anger under it all

Our church is working through Matthew 5 and the sermon on the mount.  Today we zeroed into the passages that spoke of anger and reconcilliation. (5:21-25)

It is all about Gods timing, but I found myself sitting quietly reflecting on my journey from anger to resting in god’s grace and living at a place where each thing that is raising the anger is worked out, sorted out, reconcilled, yielded to god.  Not perfect, but allowing the word of god to mold me, change me.

At the center of the passage is the caution on what is said.  Are my words hurtful, condemning, pain inflicting?  The focus is on my insides, my mind, thoughts and actions.  Anger can build from hurts inflicted, or jealousy.  Am I keeping short account with others?  Am I living with nothing offensive between myself and others?

As we worked through these passages our pastor said these are often considered difficult passages, nut in the discomfort we grow.  I really thank god for a heart that wants to grow. 

A few things happened this week to remind me how living for the kingdom is the better choice…times where choosing the words carefully was maximally critical.  Of yielding thoughts and judgements to god to show me the truth….so I could speak rightly and without offense.

Truth is I am so easily affected by words.  I also can say that words have soothed the storms of life and words have inflicted deep wounds in my spirit.  I remember deep gouges in my spirit….words, names, judgements, and even unknowing insensitivity…they have changed me.  I want to open my mouth and be a wellspring of life, of hope and a representative of the lord.

There was a conversation recently that I am still ruminating over.  She spoke words that brought doubt, suspicion, and kindled a fire that could be anger.  Redirect thoughts, directing her to the person she had an issue with and pray.    There she was in church, oblivious that her words were stirring anger, discouragement and not life.  At the end she stayed to pray.  Do I go to her?  Am I holding something against her?  No, not at all.  I want to see her rise above the judgemental spirit and find joy, and a calm peace I m learning to ask the lord first before I step into situations…I remain her friend and pray for the lord to overcome her deep struggle. 

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