I just read a blog post someone else wrote about fear, and how some people never rise from the fear that traps them… whether it is just living, or taking risks with a job, business, friend… fear disables and reduces some people to a ball of quivering lifelessness.
Why do i say that? Because I have been there. Yes, terrified of stepping out of the box, or of risk taking. Agonizing over every little thing. But there came a day when the bottom dropped out of my little neat box. There in the vortex of change my fears waved at me and said “Hey are we still friends?” yet something deep in the core of my soul said “Let go, have no focus on fear here because you will make it through.”
Making it through was not the objective in those days without a job, and without prospects, and a stack of rejections. Fear was at the door, right behind the anxiety filled wonder of where the money would come for the mortgage, the utilities, groceries, gas for the car, and OMG, the car itself, may it not break.
This was desperation survival…. and thankfully God grabbed my heart and my mind and encouraged me to look up. Trust, lay aside the fear, run to him, wait and pray. I remember those days well, and i remember praying for the anxiety attacks to go… and they went. Fear was slowly replaced with a 4 year long demonstration of God’s provision. Money came from places we never knew, and met the needs.
Fear came knocking on our door in January when our 13 year old Pontiac (our one and only car) sputtered to a stop on the freeway, requiring a tow to the mechanic, and those dreaded words “Its gone, the repairs are too extensive, and you would be better just getting another vehicle”. Fear wanted to climb into my soul, and hitch a ride to take me places i would not want to go.
But fear was kicked to the curb a while ago… We prayed, and trusted God at his word, that if we would ask him for a vehicle we could trust his character to help us in this need. Bold, courageous, yet the only option because we know our credit history since our financial fall, and we know there are no options. It was harder for my hubby to trust this might work out, because so many things have gone south for us. But God has not changed, and his provision is real, his watch care is glorious and his promises are sure.
So fear, old traveling companion of a lifetime, it is time for us to part. Oh, you can visit once in a while – like when i stand on a steep mountainside and look down, or when i encounter a wild animal that seems to be heading my way… but fear, you have no place in my life to limit my ability to trust in God for the unseen, and beyond my control parts of my life.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18