In February 2010, in the midst of the hurricane of job loss, financial decline, and all the emotion and thought that came with such a major life up-heaving I found a prayer penned in the 18th Century by John Wesley. It was a prayer that took courage and boldness to embrace. But captured in that prayer was a powerful wisdom… an unspoken depth of knowledge of the very character of God, and the very helpless nature of man to change providence. Here is the prayer:
From John Wesley’s Covenant Service , 1780
I am no longer my own, but thine.
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee,
exalted for thee or brought low for thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things
to thy pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.
Four years ago when i sincerely read this prayer, and determined in my heart to embrace the complete abandon to Jesus I had no idea of the depth of his character. The covenant of our relationship has deepened… As i continue to yield every moment to the Lord, he shows me the depth of his character, the passionate pursuit of my very soul. And he has showed me that the trappings that have been stripped away are not needed, or were a barrier for hearing and knowing him in greater ways.
I must say that I know not what awaits the rest of my life, but i know who holds my life in his hands, and i know that his character is Good! While it seems difficult at times to continue this journey to heaven, of all people I am most blessed because the Lord is showing me more of his character, leading me into deeper waters, guiding me gently, shedding what is superfluous, and granting me new reservoirs of peace and hope.
In 2010 my prayer was this: All I can say is Amen, Lord Jesus. Everything about this prayer spoke to the desperate need in my heart to accept his will in my life.
Today my response to this prayer is this:
Thank you lord that I am yours, called, chosen, blessed, your daughter. And thank you that you know the plans you have for my life. I throw my hands up, and acknowledge that I am yours, and i desire to bring glory to your name with whatever this life brings or takes away. I just ask one thing – bring me peace to embrace the lot in life that you grant me. Speak clearly of what you want of me, and lead me with strong and clear direction so I may know and do what is your will. Thank you Jesus, I bless your name. Amen