This has been a watershed year of growth, and of strengthening my faith muscles. And in times of great growth come great challenges. I think I am a living example of that physics principle about water flowing- it will always strive to seek the path of least resistance. There is a constant hope of life being easier, less stressful, and free of the big surprises of life, like illness, job loss, or the death of something. But life dies not always have seasons of comfort, or ease.
Last night I learned some news that wanted to, with every ounce of its effort, take me to that place of fret and worry. Isn’t it odd how some things can do that? Last night I met with the wonderful ladies of our Tuesday night group and found myself distracted. The stress of a new challenge was like a pot of boiling water just under the surface. It was not going to win my time, my thoughts, emotions or worry. But the wrestling to just lay it down persisted most of the evening.
It was after I got home a clear lightbulb went off and a thought kept giving voice to my attention. “Has God changed?” “Has his love and care for you changed?” “Are you doubting His sovereignty to meet your needs?” “Will you just hand that big bag of stress and fear over?”
Silent, everyone in my household were fast asleep. The low grade buzz of Steve’s C-Pap humming with each breath, and the growls and snores of three sleeping dogs reminded me it was a good time to just sit and pray.
“Yes, I know and have seen God provide for me. And yes, everything in my very soul wants to see what next adventure is in store for me. Yes, I know we will get through this new crisis. And yes, thank you God for seeing something in both of us that you would allow this next chapter to unfold. “.
Music speaks when the words of my own heart fail. And one song that I have resonated with these last few months has been by Hillsong United and it is called “oceans”
Here is the video.
the prayer is a challenging one to make – agreeing with God to go into deep waters – places where there is no control, and no options but to trust, and hold on.
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
“so this is my prayer… may my faith be without borders as i step out on the deep waters, knowing you will be there every step of the way. Amen”